Deal With It

A sermon about Depression my sister told me about. I just listened to it. Excellent.

http://pinelake.org/media-resources/sermons/depression/

God Will Use This for Good

Not 'Til We Are Lost

Rock Bottom

I searched for an image for "rock bottom" and was thinking I could find something really sad and depressing. I found the above image instead. What is rock bottom for me? Evicted from where I was living and now living in my 14 year old daughter's bedroom in the basement of her dad and step mom. How bad does it need to get before I can begin happiness again. I want to give up each and every day. Why do I keep going? 

Methylation Cycle

Methylation Cycle

(BBB)

Basic Biochemistry of Body

from my doc, Dr.. Nancy Foster, PhD, APRN, Therapeutic Lifestyle Center of Utah, Salt Lake City, Utah...

The Methylation cycle is a process in which a single molecule (the methyl donor) transfers a methyl group, consisting of 3 hydrogen atoms and 1 carbon atom (CH3) to another molecule. This second molecule becomes methylated, this is an essential process that is responsible for our body's Glutathione production and a myriad of other effects. 

The methyl group is responsible for repairing the damaged cell. When our cells are damaged due to free radical damage or toxins, this methylation cycle inserts the new methyl group into the protein cell.

The transfer of information from one generation of DNA cell to the next is heavy influenced by the methylation cycle. An optimal mthylation cycle ensures protein cells and DNA cells remain healthy and function properly. 

This very same repair process detoxifies our body by neutralizing harmful homocysteine amino acids and turning them into methionine. The level of homocysteine in our body is a direct indicator of how old we are biologically speaking. Increasing the risk of heart disease, stroke, high cholesterol, dementia, liver disease, birth defects and depression. 

The Methylation Cyle's Effects

• Vital for the production of Coenzyme Q10, Energy, Creatine, Melatonin, Phosphatidylcholine and Carnitine.
• Responsible for the synthesization of proteins that make homones, neurotransmitters and numerous immune components.
• Preventing gene overexpression. (Cancers/Tumors)
• Regulating sulfur metabolism which is required to detoxify our body and cells.
• Involved in the fabrication fo phospholipids and myelin in the brain and our nervous system.
• Required for our cellular mediated immune function such as T-Cells.
• A necessary piece of the metabolism of Folic Acid. (Folate) into L-Methlfolate
• Needed to convert hazardous homocysteine into mood elevating methionine.

MTHFR Gene Mutation

So I have the MTHFR Gene Mutation. I have MTHFR C677t and A1298C

MTHFR or Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase is the enzyme in the methyl cycle responsible for the remethylation of homocysteine into methionine. Any genetic variations in this gene influence my susceptibility to a countless number of diseases and defects. 

Little Energy

This is how I feel every day until my Adderall kicks in. I don't like it because it means there is something wrong with my body and I want Adderall for "focus" and not for energy. I keep thinking there is something "wrong" with my body. I know I have low progesterone levels which causes low energy, yet still there seems to be something missing with my "diagnosis." 

Hopeless-Discouraged

Another day of feeling quite hopeless and discouraged. Woke up at around 10 a.m.-ish. Dogs barking to eat and for me to let them out. Didn't want to face the day. Overwhelmed. Anxious. Scared. Sent a text to Brad Neufeld, who I THINK will be my "coach" to get me out of this dark spiraling hole. I can't believe I continue to have these feelings about myself and my life. Who am I?

Gluten Free Pancakes

Made these gluten free pancakes for the first time today. I really liked them.

Task Game

I struggle to get things done daily. Something I've done since I was a teenager is that I create games with myself. Today I'm just alternating between watching a segment from one of my shows on my DVR, work on a  room I need to delutter, organize and sort for things to sell, and then work doing something from my "To Do List." 

Smoothie

The Smoothie I made today:

One scoop of these greens that my doctor gave me to try. I only have about one scoop left and I can't afford to purchase more just yet. 

I add about 1/4 of this bottle.

To keep my bananas from going bad, I will peel them and put them in the freezer then use them to add to my shakes/smoothies/juice.

I add a few of these frozen berries.

I prefer fresh pineapple, yet the pineapples at Wal-mart didn't look very good. I purchased the Wal-mart "Great Value" brand and they had very little flavor. I just used these today.

Then I add some crushed ice and blend in my blender.

Gluten Free Oatmeal

I found this at Wal-mart. It tastes pretty good and very similar to the Quaker Oats instant oatmeal, yet I'm sure it has tons of sugar. Had this for breakfast this morning.

Salad Dressing

Needed some salad dressing, so I created one with what I had in my kitchen. I love it!

Salad

My go-to salad:

Spinach

Baby Carrots

Bell Pepper

Cucumbers

Tomatoes

Spaghetti Squash

I really struggle with what to eat throughout the day. It's quite challenging to have little energy and create meals for myself and my daughter.

I forgot how much I enjoyed Spaghetti Squash. It's pretty easy to make. I need to make some creative recipes. I just preheat the oven to 400 degrees, cut the squash in half and place them face down in the pan. Bake for an hour. Scoop out the seeds, then rake up the squash with a fork. Tonight I just added butter salt and pepper. The other night I added brown sugar. 

Supplements & Meds

 So the following are the supplements and the meds I take:

 Because I have two of the gene mutations of the MTHFR, I take one of these once a day.

Because I have low levels of Progesterone, I apply a prescription progesterone cream twice a day. I apply it on the back of my hands, on the inside of my wrist and the inside of  my arm. Sometimes I put it on my neck over my carotid artery. 

 Three days a week I give myself a Methylcobolimin injection. I alternate each thigh. At first I was petrified giving myself a shot. Now it's super easy.

I take these Probiotics three times a day.

I take this D3 once a day.

I take CoQ10 once a day

And then I take Adderall. I should take it twice a day, yet I take it once a day to save money.

Adderall-Healthy Eating

So I take Adderall for my ADD. If I don't take it before 2p.m. I don't take it so it won't keep me up at night. I don't sleep well anyway, yet when I don't take Adderall I am very lethargic. I slept a lot today. Very difficult to get much done today. I feel pretty bad today getting very little accomplished.

I am proud of myself with my eating habits. Today is Friday and I began eating healthier on Monday and I stuck to it. I stayed away from the McDonald's dollar menu and my morning sausage biscuit and a large Coke with no ice. I took Rachel to the Wendy's drive-through and I didn't order anything for myself. Went to Wal-mart and I passed up my favorite Mega Stuf Oreos. I've stayed away from Gluten. I must say I'm feeling better about my body. I lost four pounds in a week.