Crisis-IOP

So I'd say I'm "in Crisis." Didn't really understand that word on a personal level until this year. I have panic/anxiety attacks daily. I can barely function. I have eleven more days to come up with rent money plus half of rent money from the previous month from my bounced check. I freeze up every day when it comes to selling more of my belongings. I barely function. I cry daily. I feel hopeless daily.

So tomorrow morning I may be starting an intensive outpatient program for my Depression and PTSD. Of course I can't afford it, yet I'm praying my Bishop will pull through and see how desperately I need help. There are too many days I feel like I can't keep going. I've lost my purpose. I've lost who I am. My desire for life is practically gone. I worry this is my last chance to turn my life around and it won't work. I've let so many people down, particularly my children. I am NOT the mother I was meant to be.